Why I’m not planning for my future anymore

Before the parents and the hiring managers get scared, let me make a disclaimer: This post is not to say that planning is ultimately bad and that you should just wing everything. Nor is this a “10 Ways You’re Living Life Wrong” post. This is more of a “I’m still figuring it out, but I think it’s worth writing about so here it is” situation.

As many of us know, the greatest enemy to planning life is life. Life happens. We spend hours on detailed 5-year career plans only to come across an unexpected opportunity that throws that plan right out the window. We plan our weeks to the minute only to wake up the next morning sick which puts us a day — or more — behind schedule. Although many of us joke about how we can barely plan whether we are going to wear pants tomorrow or what we are eating for lunch, the pressure to plan for the future is real.

Now, don’t get me wrong — I certainly still think about the kind of career I want to have, whether or not I should go to graduate school, the person I want to marry, the city I want to live in, and much much more. However, despite all the thinking that I do, I have been letting go of the burden of planning it all because as experience tells me, life happens.

One of my favorite quotes/prayers/collection of words is the Serenity Prayer because it reminds me that there are things at certain times and places that I simply cannot control. As unfortunate as this may sound, I find it highly relieving and comforting to know that I do not have to worry about those things right now and can focus on the things I actually can control.

Some time ago, I came across a new opportunity to do something that seemed to be the perfect job. After multiple academic major changes as an undergrad and career interest shifts, this was finally it. This was the thing that was going to change my life and because the role made perfect sense for what I had officially decided to do, I made a plan. From informational interviews to extensive research to thinking about every detail of how and when I would transition into my soon-to-be start date, this was all a part of my plan. This had to happen. I mean, how could it not? I made a plan! I applied, I did a phone interview, I sent my thank yous, and then I got a follow-up email that said:

…Unfortunately we will not be able to invite you for an in-person interview at this time. We wish you best of luck.

Wait, what? This did not make any sense. It was not in my plan and it sucked. It sucked hard. I did not have a Plan B, C, or Z because this was The Plan. After some time of not knowing what to do next and being unable to comprehend how this had happened, I revisited my belief that everything happens for a reason so maybe this simply was not the right time or place. I was still set on the same field, but started to think about other options such as grad school or different jobs. Through this, I started talking to new people, doing new research, and exploring new careers I never would have thought about before. Fast forward, I came across a different — and now, absolutely wonderful — opportunity I found through a job board that I had never checked before, but decided to do so that day just because. I applied and was hired within a week. I certainly did not have a well thought-out plan for this, but that was okay — I was prepared.

plan /plan/ verb

• decide on and arrange in advance

prepare /prəˈper/ verb

• make (something) ready for use or consideration

Plan. Prepare. I have greatly learned the definitions of these two words that have both impacted my life in different, yet meaningful ways. I planned my life around one opportunity that as I came to find out, I did not have much control over the result. On the other hand, I prepared through experiences and research for a different opportunity that I did not even know I was preparing for.

Although I claim that knowing there are things I do not know or can control relieves and comforts me, I typically first go through a phase of uncertainty which is — spoiler alert — not fun. I have plenty of moments when I am thinking about all the things I do not have in my life or I am unsure if what I am doing is the right thing because I do not know what the future holds. In these times, I often think of a phrase I said to a friend: There’s a rain cloud of blessings just waiting to pass over my life and I’m just trying to get my bucket ready!

Here’s the thing though. I do not know when the rain cloud is coming. I do not know if my bucket is even suitable enough. These are the parts that I cannot plan or control. To note, I am still a big fan of goals and intentions, but I would not be surprised that many people with goals do not always know exactly how they are going to reach their goal or fulfill their intention. Sometimes the “how” can also change, but one thing they know for sure is that their goals are going to happen. I surely intend to have my bucket as ready as it can be for every blessed raindrop meant for me. I cannot plan every detail, but I can aim to prepare in the best way that I am able to.

I can make decisions every day that help serve my goals and intentions, grow my personal and professional development, and expand my knowledge and networks. I can prepare to make myself a better person each day and in every aspect. I can prepare for the work week by consistently practicing self-care and reading about ways to increase my productivity. I can prepare for the next career move by researching career options and utilizing opportunities for professional development. I can prepare for graduate school by talking to current and former graduate students to hear their experiences and words of wisdom. I can prepare for marriage with the right individual by taking the time to understand myself and what is important to me. I think about all of these things and much much more.

Although I have plenty of ideas and visions about what the future may be like, I have found that it is not easy or beneficial for me to focus on creating a very detailed plan anymore. I focus on being prepared. I prepare for the things not yet known, for the people not yet met, and for the experiences not yet remembered. Maybe, the plan is to be prepared. Or maybe, to be prepared means to plan. Nonetheless, when a rain cloud does pass over me, I want it to be as if my bucket was in the right place all along.

❤