let me be free.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I would post this because I didn’t want to be insensitive to the fact that so many lives are being lost right now. But that’s also why I wrote this. The numbers of fatalities due to COVID-19 is unbearable to truly fathom. Lately, I’ve had to disconnect from the regular updates as to not feel defeated by them. If you’ve known me for some time, you’ve probably heard me talk about the importance of talking about our end-of-life plans and how we make sense of death. Since many can’t be with their loved ones in their final moments during the pandemic, it’s made me reflect on the process of saying goodbye, how we often go to great lengths to hold on to our people as long as we can, and the bittersweet nature of letting go. This is just a glimpse of how I try to make sense of death and what I would want my loved ones to know. I’m not sure what it might bring up for you, but I hope that you hold this as a message from whoever you have had to let go of in this lifetime.

When I die,

let me be a spirit.

Not a body

or a keepsake

or a treasure

left to be untouched

and stuck in time.

Plant me into a tree,

spread me across the ocean, or

blast me into the sky as a firework.

But don’t keep me here,

burned or buried.

Cremate me

and let me go.

God knows

what comes next,

but know that I love you

and that I miss you.

We may never meet again,

but our memories will always

be ours to hold.

When you feel

my smile through the sun,

my hugs through the wind,

my strength through the ground,

my peace through the water,

know that it is because you

let me be free.